Customer Relationship Failures

Here are a few instances of where companies are failing to meet my expectations. For each company and product, I am actively looking for acceptable alternatives.

Bank of America: I just downloaded my recent activity. I had been royally annoyed that BofA signed me up for paperless statements and then claimed that I had requested that. Never. I rely on the monthly statement to remind me to reconcile and I like the security of holding onto paper records for this purpose.

So, I logged on and searched and searched and searched until I found where I turn OFF paperless statements.

Imagine my surprise when I saw monthly maintenance fees on all my checking accounts.

A new payment schedule now declares that because I am not a eBanking customer, because I get a paper statement, they are charging me nearly $30 in monthly fees. And, I couldn't even call them at 9:20 pm to ask about it, because their customer service centers were closed.

I hate surprises from Bank of America. Bank of America; you suck.

Verizon Wireless: I hate my phone. It's an HTC Droid Eris and its just underpowered, weak and pathetic. As a software engineer, I hate using it, especially since I did some iPhone development and had an iPhone for a while. But phones apart, I hate Verizon Wireless more.

At one point a few years ago, while doing iPhone development, I was also helping get a start up off the ground (shout out to Star Street Sports!) and my wife and I blew away our minutes. Me on AT&T and her on Verizon. We had over $1000 in additional fees.

I called AT&T. They asked if I would upgrade to the unlimited minutes plan (only $20 more per month) and, if so, they would waive all the overage fees. I agreed in a heartbeat.

I called Verizon. They asked if I would upgrade to the unlimited minutes plan (only $20 more per month) and, if so, they would -- are you ready? -- give me a 30% discount. What? Excuse me? Your competition waived all the fees and left me feeling really great. You gave me a sucky deal and I had already been a customer for over 14 years, plus added four more additional lines.

Then I discovered that they have a policy that they won't discount more than 50%. So why did I only get 30%? I called back. You see, it's up to the representative who takes the call. So, for what ever reason -- I'm a jerk, the rep was having a bad day -- I got 30% off of the egregious over charges instead of 50%. And I'm still seething because they didn't give me nearly as good a deal as AT&T.

Verizon Wireless; you suck, too.

Callpod Keeper: I used to like my Callpod Keeper. I found it while using an iPhone. Callpod offered a free mobile password safe and I needed a replacement for my old one, which was open sourced and no longer being maintained. For $30 I could buy the desktop and then sync between mobil and desktop. Sweet!

When I switched to my sucky HTC Droid Eris (seriously, this phone is crap), I found Callpod has an Android version, which I installed.

Not long thereafter, having upgraded the app, the app kept asking if I wanted to try a 30 day trial of their premium service, wherein I could sync to the cloud instead of my own desktop. No. No, I don't.

Finally the friggin' pop-ups stop and I get around to syncing my devices. But I can't. Because now, without telling me, Callpod changed the rules. Now, I have to upgrade to their premium service to sync at all. They hid this change -- it was never mentioned anywhere I could see in the upgrade summaries. Now I can't sync my mobile password safe with my desktop safe and the two have inevitably drifted apart.

Callpod: you suck too. I'm chucking your ass out on the street as soon as I find another password safe.

So, there you go. Three examples of different companies pissing me off so royally that I actually spent my time to complain about it publicly.

This is why it was so important to me to make my Hold-it! Game Card Organizer an outstanding value. First, it is great to use and really helps make dozens of games play faster and better. Second, it is seriously sturdy -- I had a 400 lbs. fellow stand on one at a game convention without damaging the unit at all. Finally, I offer an unconditional -- yes, without any conditions -- guarantee for your money back if you don't like my product. Return it for your purchase price.

OK, so the Hold-it! hasn't made me wealthy and it really sucked that the hobby-game industry was deflating at the time I was trying to get my product into the marketplace, but it taught me tons about how to make something that customer will value.

I do no marketing or advertising at all. Nothing. And the Hold-it! continues to sell from my old, ugly website all on its own. Word of mouth. Because the folks who have purchased it (and I've sold it to nearly every continent on the earth) know they have a really good product.

If I could do it, then I really expect Bank of America, Verizon Wireless and Callpod to figure out that pissing off the customer is not good business.

Things not to say to the customer

Yes, I know this is irreverent, but I'm a bit punch happy, so here are some ideas about things that one should not say to the customer. Especially one who has been pretty good about getting slow support.

• After banging on this product for over a year, we’ve moved on emotionally, spiritually and strategically. The product is going to phased out soon and we’re really busily focused on doing things that generate a whomp-load more revenue right now. So, for right now, we’re just plugging our ears with coffee grinds and ignoring the problem
• My apologies for the delay. My mom says I shouldn’t talk to you.
• Thanks for following up on this. Unfortunately the work to dig into the product issues has temporarily been put on an indefinite hold.
• My apologies but a traumatic brain injury has wiped out all my memories and knowledge of who you are and what you do. Could we start over?

Clearly, someone in Sales needs to pick up the phone. Hello, Sales? Um, Sales?

Ah. They're out, erm, networking.

Desperation in the business world

I see things that strike me as acts of desperation.  Yes, the economy is bad, bad, bad.  For an indication of just how bad, you should really spend some time viewing The Crash Course at ChrisMartenson.com.  

However, I've noticed some things that are real strong indicators that marketing and product folks are getting desperate.  Here are two of them:

Trader Joe's.  I love Trader Joe's.  I get really good quality food at great prices.  For example, we try hard to eat organic when it comes to raw foods; milk, eggs, veggies, fruits, etc.  As an example of the great deals, TJ's sells a gallon of organic whole milk for around $5.98.  Shaws and Stop and Shop also sell gallons of organic whole milk, but for around $8 a gallon.   

TJ's used to sell a pound of organic romain lettuce in a bag of three heads.  It was a great deal and in the Summer, my wife and I would go through two of those bags a week.  However, a while ago -- could be a year, could be longer -- I noticed that the bags were lighter and were now being sold in 12 ounce packages.  Same price, but we were now getting 25% less.  That's a big increase. Last fall I noticed that some of the bags felt noticably lighter yet again.  That's because they now sell "Three heads of organic romain lettuce"  No weight indicated.  I promise you, some of these bags have three scrawny heads of lettuce in there that barely top 8 ounces.

Same bag, same big title, a tiny fraction of the value.  

Here's the second thing.  One of my credit card companies called me and I finally answered -- I hate being interrupted during family time.  Ms. Dublin politely identified herself and thanked me for being a long-standing member.  Then she asked my permission to read a paragraph and record the remainder of the conversation.  I initially assumed that she had to notify me of some change in the terms, but was puzzled why it had to be over the phone.  Since she was simply reading a paragraph, it didn't seem like she was trying to sell me something.  But there was that recording part.  Hmmm.

In the paragraph she said that they would be enrolling me in a program that would monitor my credit reports and notify me of any changes or threats and that after some introductory period, they would bill my account $9.99 a month.  It seemed that the company was trying to say that by listening to the paragraph I implicitly accepted the terms of this service that they were foisting on me.

I said that I wanted it clearly understood that I do not want any such service and that I am not agreeing to accepting any such program.  Ms. Dublin replied that I have the choice of opting in, but by accepting enrollment, she would simply send me the materials.

Really, what kind of malarky is this?  You want me to look at the materials?  Fine.  Send them to me.  However, you don't need me to agree, on tape, to have you send me the materials.  

So, I felt it necessary to state again that I was not accepting any enrollment in any such program and do not want any charges to be applied to my account for any such purpose.  Furthermore, it seemed that by accepting enrollment in order to get the materials, the company was equating that enrollment with accepting the automated billing of this service and I wanted it clearly understood that I was not accepting any such service levied to my account.  

I'm glad they were recording that.  :-)  Ms. Dublin thanked me and hug up.

The lesson here is that both of these programs are tricky and underhanded.  I love Trader Joe's a good deal less now and I do not trust this credit card company at all.  

Is that really the way we want our customers to think of us, our products and services and companies?  Nope.  It's baaad policy.  Baaad products and baaad practices.  

Don't surprise the customer!

I recently purchased a replacement toner cartridge for my laser printer.  I really, really wanted an OEM cartridge.  My experience with compatible ink jet cartridges were unsatisfactory and even though OEM was significantly more expensive, I believe that's the way to go for the best quality results.  Since I use my laser printer for business correspondence, it is important to have crisp, clear copies.  

Furthermore, as a toner cartridge for a SOHO printer ages, the light sensitive imaging tube becomes less sensitive and the copies start to come out grey.  So, simply refilling the toner powder won't do either.

However, I was horrified to see the prices for the OEM cartridge.  Nothing less than $75, some over $85, and then there's shipping! Yowza!  $120 for a cartridge -- I could practically purchase a new printer for that!  I seriously thought about it, but knowing that my wife would kill me for such blantant consumerism, I went back to looking for a replacement cartridge.

I Googled, and Googled.  Seriously searched for an OEM cartridge that would be less.  I would have been happy with $60 shipped.  I was delighted to find a site that was selling a cartridge for $32 shipped.  That's was the same price as the compatible and refurbished cartridges.  I check and double checked to make sure that this was an OEM cartridge.

The product ID was the same as the OEM ID -- "ML 1210D3".  Check

The product description was the same as the OEM -- "Samsung ML-1210 D3".  Check

The description did not say "compatible", "refurbished", "refilled" or any such thing.  No where did it use those words on the product page.  I even searched for them. Big Check.

I placed my order satisified that I had finally done it!  I found a site that was selling OEM cartridges for deep discounts.  I was ready to trumpet the value of this place.

However, when the product came, it was clearly a knock off.  I called and emailed the company.  I pulled my receipt.   Yep, "Samsung ML-1210 D3"  I was not expecting a knock off.

I got a response in less than 24 hours.  Here is the first line:  "If you would have read our paragraph about what we do on our homepage you would have read we provide toner replacements for expensive name brands(OEM)"

I never saw the home page.  I came to the product page from a Google product search.  I never saw -- and I looked for -- something that said I was purchasing a knock off brand.  In my mind, this is a complete failure on behalf of the company.  It's folly to assume that your customers are (1) going to enter your site on the home page and (2) read it if they do.  

This isn't right.  I will not ever do business with this company again for any reason whatsoever. There isn't any need to.  They have so much competition and their products and their service is an absolute commodity.  Plus, they surprised me and then blamed me for it.  By the way, I did look at the home page.  It does say that.  Right in the middle of a paragraph of text that I never would ever have ever read ever.

Here's the take away lesson:  Don't do this!  Do not suprise your customers unless it makes them very, very happy!

If you are in the product industry, you must make sure that your customer knows what they are getting and are satisified with the value of the product.  If you are in the service industry, you must ensure that your customer knows what they are getting and are satisfied with the value of the service.  Unpleasantly surprising the customer is the very best way to kill your up sale potential.  

But, Peter, you say, I can't spend all day hand-holding every customer.  Sure, OK, I'm good with that.  However, you can -- and you must -- ensure that your customer knows what they are getting.  Period.  Your promotional material, your descriptions, your literature needs to be complete and honest.  Because you can't afford to acquire a new customer for every single sale.

You might be interested in which company it was.  I was initially going to reveal that, but I decided not to make this a "bash the company" posting because I really want the lesson of good customer relationships to come out.  So, I'm not going to say.

A great demo movie

Boy, I wish I had an active project RIGHT NOW. Because I just watched the FogBugz demo at FogCreek.com. This was the most enjoyable and informative demo movie that I have ever seen. Bar none.

The CEO, Joel Spolsky, and one of the programmers, Babak Ghahremanpour, talk casually about FogBugz, which is a hosted or in-house project management system. Their dialog, which is friendly (except for when they rip into poor Milton Richie), informative and interesting, told me everything that I could want to know about FogBugz's functionality.

I am so excited about this that I have even done my normal due diligence of looking for reviews and independent assessments. I'm ready to start my free trial, just because I can!

Hmm, maybe they need a really great product manager. Gotta go.

What is the biggest problem you have with your camcorder?

I've been wondering about this. For me, I have tapes that I can't see,
stuff I can't find and dozens of tapes to manage. I love having the
record, but what good is it if the media will decay and I can't see my
movies?

Please share your thoughts on the matter. I've made a poll on LinkedIn
with their new poll feature. Please come and vote at
http://polls.linkedin.com/p/20725/ejgif

Thanks!

Feeling Manipulated by the Media

I heard a news headline from the BBC that caught my attention. Something along the line of "The American military says that it accidentally killed some women and children in an attack against militants in Iraq."

I am very saddened to hear that yet more people were killed.

What caught my attention was that the focus of the headline was the admittance that women and children -- let's say "non-combatants" -- were killed. After all, non-combatants have been victims all throughout pressing of war in Afghanistan and Iraq. As a matter of fact, I thought it was odd that we had been hearing so very little about the depth and breadth of havoc and utter destruction wrought upon non-combatants. Why have we not been hearing about what full impact our presence has been having?

Is it the same reason that we, the American public, were not allowed to see pictures of the coffins of our service men and women? That was pretty strange -- it felt very manipulative. In light of the significant -- and let's leave it at that -- lack of information about the war, the news headline was highly notable for its frankness and disclosure.

You know, I wouldn't be at all surprised if we started hearing more and more about the "collateral" damage in Iraq (and Afghanistan). Almost as if we, the American public, were supposed to be seeing more things that will undoubtedly further reduce the publics willingness to sustain this war effort.

There Is No Box

Here is a concept that came to me a while back when I started my own product development company, Innovatium: "There Is No Box"

The reference, of course, is to "out of the box thinking." That was practically a mantra at a previous company. At the time it was a good mantra. Engineers had a tendency to look at a problem from their perspective and apply to it their known solutions. The Out Of The Box mantra helped to express that, as engineers, we needed to push ourselves out of our comfort zone for more creative solutions that would benefit our customers.

For example, did we really need a $24,000 multi-card computer when two $4,000 PC's networked together would do the trick? We came up with all sorts of new things following that mantra.

However, it's not enough.

The typical problem we encountered (and I lived it at multiple companies and through multiple projects) was that we were thinking outside of the engineering box, but within another box. We often failed to understand our customer, their business, their priorities, their fears, and other critical factors.

What I learned from running my own company is that there is no box, so don't go climbing into one. You are not beholden to following the "way things are done". There are problems to solve and there is creative thinking to solve those problems. Ignore good experience at your peril, but don't limit yourself to doing things the way they worked last time just because it worked last time.

Remember, remarkable things are not often accomplished by mediocre people. If you want to accomplish something remarkable, you need to be willing to risk yourself in the pursuit of that thing. Just stay focused on the goal -- creating something remarkable for your customer -- and don't get fettered by someone else's ideas about How It Must Be Done.