The Perfect Engineer

For reasons that should be shortly entirely obvious, I have been thinking about job interviews. It was so bad that instead of typing "routes.rb" while looking for a file, I typed "resume.rb". Heh.

And, in thinking about this I realized what I think companies want out of the perfect engineering candidate.

We've had a good deal of changes where I work. Let me state right now that I have a tremendous amount of confidence in the leadership, their vision and the work that we're doing. However, when things change, folks get all shook up. First, after a sizable push to get new infrastructure up and running on an accelerated schedule, we lost a bunch of folks. Some were contractors that wrapped up and others were stalwart members who accomplished something really great and felt it was time to move on to new challenges.

Then, we had a change in team leadership. This caused more unrest and another flurry of departures. Although we're looking for replacements, they are hard to come by and a linear extrapolation of our head count over the past year shows no one left by next July. We mostly look at that downward progression as gallows humor.

So, thinking about my departing colleagues and having had to do due diligence myself, it occurred to me that companies seem to be looking for an engineer with the following qualifications:

• Amazing Abstract Thinker: Software architecture, design and algorithms
• Rock-Solid Concrete Contributor: Code structure, comments, testing, source code control, branches, merging. Master of multiple languages
• Top-Notch Manger of the User Experience: Site flow design, UI design, HTML, CSS, JavaScript implementation
• Unshakable Foundation Provider: Schema architecture, database configuration, SQL wizard across multiple databases both commercial and open source
• Deployment Master: development, staging and production system configuration and management, deployment processes and scripts
• Systems Genius: Unix, OS/X, Windows, Networks and OS internals
• Unparalleled Business Analyst: Business needs analysis, specifications, requirements documentation, feature prioritization, cost estimation, ROI projections
• Zen Guru: personable, calm, professional, communicative, approachable, polite and respectful, unflappable
• Project Management Prodigy: team management, task estimation, assignment, prioritization, budgeting, conflict resolution, risk management
• Strategic Wonder: project current business realities into future business needs and align technical infrastructure, staff and supporting resources to meet tomorrows needs today.
• Workaholic: Put in a solid 40 hour week plus full time availability for emergencies and fire-fighting
• Hero: Take critical business needs and urgent projects, pull out all the stops and deliver them ahead of all expectations
• Inexpensive: after all, we're just talking about friggin' writing code for a web site. How friggin' hard can that possibly be? Plus, there are a ton of engineers and they're easy to please. Give 'em a fast computer and lots of free food and they're fine.

Ja, this is pretty snarky. But as I review it, I'm gonna stick by it. I recently realized that I started managing folks when I was 16 and ran a ballet studio for the summer while the owners were traveling out of the country. I've been doing this management stuff for over 30 years. Holy cow!

BTW, I can lay legitimate and concrete claim to most all of the aspects identified above and feel darn good about that. However, I've worked with a lot of folks and know that really good engineers are really hard to find; may be 1 out of 20. They have the ability to sustain an entire company and turn it around on a dime as needed.

Like I said, I feel good about where I am. I know the value I bring and know that I continue to work with some very talented engineers whom I respect tremendously. I also know that I would be hard pressed to replace them and hope I don't have to any time soon.

Don't surprise the customer!

I recently purchased a replacement toner cartridge for my laser printer.  I really, really wanted an OEM cartridge.  My experience with compatible ink jet cartridges were unsatisfactory and even though OEM was significantly more expensive, I believe that's the way to go for the best quality results.  Since I use my laser printer for business correspondence, it is important to have crisp, clear copies.  

Furthermore, as a toner cartridge for a SOHO printer ages, the light sensitive imaging tube becomes less sensitive and the copies start to come out grey.  So, simply refilling the toner powder won't do either.

However, I was horrified to see the prices for the OEM cartridge.  Nothing less than $75, some over $85, and then there's shipping! Yowza!  $120 for a cartridge -- I could practically purchase a new printer for that!  I seriously thought about it, but knowing that my wife would kill me for such blantant consumerism, I went back to looking for a replacement cartridge.

I Googled, and Googled.  Seriously searched for an OEM cartridge that would be less.  I would have been happy with $60 shipped.  I was delighted to find a site that was selling a cartridge for $32 shipped.  That's was the same price as the compatible and refurbished cartridges.  I check and double checked to make sure that this was an OEM cartridge.

The product ID was the same as the OEM ID -- "ML 1210D3".  Check

The product description was the same as the OEM -- "Samsung ML-1210 D3".  Check

The description did not say "compatible", "refurbished", "refilled" or any such thing.  No where did it use those words on the product page.  I even searched for them. Big Check.

I placed my order satisified that I had finally done it!  I found a site that was selling OEM cartridges for deep discounts.  I was ready to trumpet the value of this place.

However, when the product came, it was clearly a knock off.  I called and emailed the company.  I pulled my receipt.   Yep, "Samsung ML-1210 D3"  I was not expecting a knock off.

I got a response in less than 24 hours.  Here is the first line:  "If you would have read our paragraph about what we do on our homepage you would have read we provide toner replacements for expensive name brands(OEM)"

I never saw the home page.  I came to the product page from a Google product search.  I never saw -- and I looked for -- something that said I was purchasing a knock off brand.  In my mind, this is a complete failure on behalf of the company.  It's folly to assume that your customers are (1) going to enter your site on the home page and (2) read it if they do.  

This isn't right.  I will not ever do business with this company again for any reason whatsoever. There isn't any need to.  They have so much competition and their products and their service is an absolute commodity.  Plus, they surprised me and then blamed me for it.  By the way, I did look at the home page.  It does say that.  Right in the middle of a paragraph of text that I never would ever have ever read ever.

Here's the take away lesson:  Don't do this!  Do not suprise your customers unless it makes them very, very happy!

If you are in the product industry, you must make sure that your customer knows what they are getting and are satisified with the value of the product.  If you are in the service industry, you must ensure that your customer knows what they are getting and are satisfied with the value of the service.  Unpleasantly surprising the customer is the very best way to kill your up sale potential.  

But, Peter, you say, I can't spend all day hand-holding every customer.  Sure, OK, I'm good with that.  However, you can -- and you must -- ensure that your customer knows what they are getting.  Period.  Your promotional material, your descriptions, your literature needs to be complete and honest.  Because you can't afford to acquire a new customer for every single sale.

You might be interested in which company it was.  I was initially going to reveal that, but I decided not to make this a "bash the company" posting because I really want the lesson of good customer relationships to come out.  So, I'm not going to say.